Addictions - Not Always Noticed

When you hear the word “Addiction”, what’s honestly the first thing that comes to your mind?  The first thing that comes to my mind the majority of the time is alcohol or drugs, for that turns into a chemical dependency beyond the mental or emotional state.  Yet addictions can be to anything physical, emotional or thoughts actually even with relationships to people or a cause.  The majority of us get so wrapped up in our lives that we don’t take the time to analyze what’s happening with us health wise including the whole person “body, mind & spirit” so it can become to grow into an addiction.  When you start realizing there is a problem even though your love ones keep bringing it to your attention its when  the floor drops on you that it makes you Wake Up and you Face the Truth that you have become an addict.  It is not an easy step to take for admitting that what or whom you like becomes an obsession it can then become an addiction.  There was one day that my conversation with my cousin turned into the subject of addictions then there were these categories and connections to the emotional/mental experiences to the different addictions.  This information I knew had to be from divine source for there is no courses or degrees that I have that my mind can pull from (my Human Mind aka Ego) so there is no other explanation then a.divine message.  There was no record that was made that day and for it is not in my memory bank, I asked if this information can be given to me again, so here’s the message that I received:

        Addiction                                                                        Emotion                                

Alcohol/Drugs (both prescribed or not)             Escape from Pain wether Physical or Mental/Emotional

Shopaholic with Excessive Debts                      Escape from Betrayal wether Self or Others

Gambling                                                            Escape from Frustration of Life with choices made

Hoarder                                                               Escape from Grief of any type

Gluttony                                                              Escape from Lack of Self Worth

Workaholic                                                         Escape from True World of One’s Life

These are also the ones that was divinely selected not my choices but for my own acknowledgement that I had to come to terms with there are three of them well honestly actually four of them.  One of them was at first a hobby which is shopping for this was my past time with some family members so it was an enjoyment of their time and of shopping.  When it turned to an addiction from me reviewing my past, it was the ending of my first marriage in my last 20’s after 4 years of marriage.  This was a very unhealthy relationship and it was subtle while dating but took a sharp turn when we got married.  It was from him stealing here and there, then cheating, then verbal abuse which almost turned physical and I was the main bread winner as well as my continued “wifely duties” of keeping a clean house.  This toxic relationship was turning me into someone I was not, almost turned me like him even in the cheating which as Jesus stated “even in thought it is a sin” so then it happened twice but was stopped from it turning into a physical affair.  When the marriage ended there went my “dream” of a Happy Wonderful Marriage like my parents had, this is when reality hit me that there are those that lie to you making you believe that they love you when in truth they are just ‘using” you for their benefits.  So I turned to “shopping” for my betrayal and rewarded myself even if it meant to charge it my thought process was “for money was stolen from me anyways so what was the purpose of saving it.”  This was my excuses and very well recorded in my thought process for this method of therapy had continued which it was getting worse and worse each time I felt betrayed.  

Then some decades later in my 40’s still no long lasting relationships or anyone that wanted to marry me that I was aware of actually no good prospects was being presented in my life so that I accepted.  Then at 42 years old I experienced the death of my mother, that event til this day still brings up pain of her leaving too soon from my prospective.  Even though her health was declining both my father and myself were in deep denial that she was getting worse with no possibilities of improvement.  This was hard for a lot of people in the family for she was very loved and respected, a very difficult lose for everyone yet we were so wrapped up in our own grief that we couldn’t notice how the other family members were handling it.  So I became a Massage Therapy Instructor a few months later so here is when first the workaholic part came then the “hoarding” started with a great deal of disorganization.  This is where my workplace was very nicely organized yet my mind as well as my home life was not at all!  As the most important thing in my life was becoming an Instructor and my need to be praised for my work this is where “Gluttony” came into play and a perfect excuse for more shopping and more hoarding with supplies, books, etc….. justifying that it was for my work as an Instructor.  Now of course more fun came into play when I met my last husband which looking back there were some Oops moments when I called my first husband’s name instead of his and there were attributes that reminded me of my first husband (that was my gut feeling…God’s whispers).  The excuses for not being available I kept giving him were true but yet they still were excuses, so deep inside I knew that he was not the type of man that normally am attracted to.  So there were great people that honestly I love and still have a great relationship with so if it wasn’t for our relationship I would not have them in my life today.  There is always a positive, but again the Carbon Copy of my first husband just older and he sunk me more into debt when I was basically clear after years of working hard to rid of those debts.  When this relationship ended all four of the addictions became stronger and stronger into a whirlwind that to this day I had to “Let it all Go and Give it to God” for this year I have been mostly out of work and my funds are low.  

The addictions start in a subtle way even with alcohol and drugs for we are not born into addiction for the majority of us, but life if we make choices that deep inside we know are not correct it can let our emotions start taking control instead of our “true self”.  This has been an awaking year for me so the reason that I was meant to take months off was for my progress not for me to go further down the spiral which could of happened if I did not make my faith stronger in God.  There is a divine unconditional Love there for us from the beginning of time before we came into this world in this timeframe.  The only thing we are required to do is Accept it completely then you will notice those whispers and signs that are divinely sent to you.  We all just need to STOP and LISTEN so we can be aware of those messages and Trust that God is always there even when we disconnect from him, He never will disconnect from YOU.  

    My message to you is Love God for what he has Already Done, Not for What he is going To Do!

Your journey is your “free will” for we all have our “Fate” that appears in our Life but our choices we make will determine our destiny.  The great NEWS IS THAT GOD IS ALWAYS THERE to guide us back to the right path, just be aware of the turns that he points out to you.  The way that you will know that it’s divine and not from the Ultimate Liar (the Devil aka the Enemy) it will be True to who you are and it will settle positively in your heart.  It may take longer to achieve the results for it is in God’s time which is actually the ‘perfect time’ for you.  The road may seem a bit rocky, but you will know in your heart that it is the True Path that will fulfill your heart.

Little Reminder:        Don’t Live in the Past for it no longer belongs to You

                                   Don’t Live in your Future for that still is unknown to You

                                   Live in the Now (present) time for this is what’s been Gifted to YOU

Choose to be Happy no matter where you are in your Life, for know that the divine has you and what he does will always be for your very Best, especially when they are Lessons!!!

With Love Always to All, in Jesus Name!

Maria E. Padron - Ordained Minister, Reiki Master, LMT, Spiritual Counselor/Intuitive Reader, Life Coach